Wednesday, June 28, 2017

bachelorette recap | week 5; night 2


Two on One: Kenny & Lee. Okay let's settle this score. Kenny coming down the hill wooing and laughing like that, dude calm down. You are gonna get the rose. (even tho I kinda think she's gonna drop em both. Lee now, Kenny later) Kenny's curse filled rant is me during hockey season! Does Rachel have lash extensions or falsies on? I need to know. Bye Lee, extra time for Kenny. WHY ARE YOU GOING BACK DOWN THERE, Kenny???? She clearly doesn't want someone like that. Like you got the girl, get in the damn helicopter and go off on a date. Bryan boner time, does he look good in every piece of clothing ever? Like you are wearing that tee shirt handsomeeeee. Phew. Okay Kenny, don't eff this up. Focus on her, focus on telling her about your daughter, focus on anything else, but Lee. That ended well, better than expected. But it feels like he really is genuine. His daughter is too cute. Hold it together my man! You got the rose. I feel like Kenny cries more than my dad and that's saying a lot, cause he cries at every AGT audition. 

Rose Ceremony: Bryan is working that suit. I love Rach's gold sequin dress. Picks for going home... Josiah & bad hair guy. Hold please, I'll tell ya his name when she doesn't call it. (His name is Matt and he looks like a door to door toaster salesmen) God why did the producers let Josiah have a confessional time that long? These overly confident soundbites are gonna come back and bite him. Cause nothing goes away these days...! SHE KEPT BAD HAIR GUY?!? Hmmm, maybe she needs a new toaster. Or wants to see if all of that will grow back after he joins the hair club for men. 

Complete side bar-I wish I wasn't watching this at 11:24pm cause ya girls tired. PLL series finale trumped Bachelorette, so I'm watching it on dvr.

One on One: with Eric. Remember when he had drama in the beginning? Momentum? Is this 2 quick goals at the end of the second period? There's something about Eric that I don't like. Why was he saying "swag swag swag" when she was in the boat? Was he singing Boyfriend by Biebs in his head? 10 kids? God, her poor vag. Maybe I think he's trying too hard? "Your so fly tho. Let's get a bunch of selfies." Is he a 15 year old girl in the 90s? I would request an amusement park date if I was the bachette for sure. I feel like this is such a fun date idea. Oh they got burgers! Normal food! Is he drinking champs? I mean I appreciate that, but hmmmm, he doesn't seem like a champs drinker. Awe, I feel bad for him. He got the rose, I don't think he's top 3 material.

Group date: Viking fighting or something like that. Adam needs to go, he creeps me out. His face, his vibe, everything. Poor Bryan's oar got stuck, but I'm digging his white sneaks. Why do we need the instructors to introduce themselves to us the viewing public? Alex's job description is weird, I think I need more info on it. Kenny please win, I can't with Adam's face anymore. Why does that blood look fake? This might be the worst group date activity to date. As much as I want Bryan to be my bf, I really feel like he is so into her. Shit, she's falling for him. Damn it! Also, his IG he speaks a lot about how the best day of his life was when he got out of the limo...She's digging Peter, so clear. Kenny is missing his daughter so much that it's clouding his mind. I feel like he is trying to push things with her, his relationship with her isn't where it is with others, ie: Bryan and Peter. Ugh, bye Kenny. You kinda set yourself up for that. That was the sweetest compliment for her with what he said about her daughter growing up to be like her. Falsies or lash extensions? SOMEONE PLEASE TELL MEEEE.

One on One: with Will. Will, no one has a had a date like this...well accept if you've been on the show before. Oh yikes, awkward silence. Why isn't he trying to kiss her? Is he trying to be super nice & polite...where is the romance?? Yikes, that dinner was proof these two were on different pages. He did great yesterday, but tonight, not so much. 

Rose Ceremony: at the end of an episode? WHAT? #tbt #dreamsdocometrue Hardest goodbye? Hmmm who will it be? Adam? Please be Adam. I don't think that will be a hard choice for her tho. "Always" says Bryan and "YASSSSSS" says Kayla. Matt again? Come on Rachel, you def don't see him as your husband. Also, you do have to keep a certain amount of guys or you could send them home early. Shit, is she sending Alex home and keeping Adam cause he jacked up his face even more? OHMYGOD. NO WAY. STOP IT. You don't have to feel bad that his face got messed up girl. 

My top 4 for hometown dates (yes, I'm rushing it) Bryan, Peter, Eric, Dean. Who is in your top 4?  Come back next Tuesday for more recap fun cause next week looks cray! Xo!

ps-ended this at 12:35 am...not too bad!