Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Maybe I'll just take out a classified...

Here we are yet again. For your reading pleasure, today is 2 emails and one profile.

"Hi there, I'm Chris. I like your profile and agree with your headline; I frosted my tips once in the 90s and had the time of my life that month! I have never admitted that before and probably won't again...How did you get into blogging? How do you like to spend your free time (and every single snowed out Monday) this time of year? By Rangers are you sure you don't mean DEVILS? I'd love to hear more about you, write me back sometime if you'd like to chat!"

I may actually send this response...

"Chris, I AM A THOUSAND PERCENT SURE I DON'T MEAN DEVILS. No, fuck that, A MILLION PERCENT SURE. If someone specifies a sports team they like, don't ask them if they are sure. Isn't that like little boy 101?! And for the love of God, don't ever mention your "frosted tips" again. Also, saying on your profile that you have "read the entire internet" makes you sound so freaking dumb...cause if you had, you would've read how I got into blogging back in 2012. Have fun rooting for the 6th place team.."

Here's an email conversation I had with someone who "winked" at me and I "winked" back.
February 4th
Him: "Hey how are you?"
Me: "Hi, I'm good. How are you?"
Him: "I'm doing well thanks how are you?"

That's what I like to call a "broken record conversation" aka like getting off the phone with my Dad (sorry, Dad.) Even the cute ones who have good profiles aren't looking promising.

Here's a profile from my "Daily Matches" that I thought I'd share, cause well...oh just read on.
Username: yoyobuttbutt
Age: 33
About Him
Relationships: Currently Separated
Have Kids: I'll tell you later
Want Kids: Definitely
Ethnicity: White/Caucasian
Body Type: I'll tell you later
Height: 6'
Faith: I'll tell you later
Smoke: I'll tell you later
Drink: I'll tell you later

His Summary:
hard to say anything in just a few words........just lookign to have fun and not deal with any pyschos if you knoww hat i mean. also like food, drinks, dancing, being myself, spontaneity, etc. etc. etc.

Mr. yoyobuttbutt doesn't have a picture which is SO unfortunate cause I'm sure he's a looker. From what I gather, his ex is probably a "pyscho" and he can spell hard words like spontaneity right, but not easy ones like "looking" or "what". But you know what, I'm just being mean cause he's just being himself.